8/28/10

3 reasons to say "Fuck Jurassic Park 3"

I didn't even take screencaps, thats how little I respect this movie.

- How did a Spinesaurus swallow a damn phone, but its clearly audible from hundreds of feet away while inside of it, yet the giant damn dinosaur can stealth up on the people without them noticing??

- Raptors are not that damn smart! They injure a human knowing he'll cry out for others? What!? They didn't do that the LAST TIME people were there, how'd they learn that people fall for that? Predators use that shit, and they're supposedly the deadliest hunters in the galaxy. But a raptor does? Why!? Its stupid, stop making raptors the Mary Sues of the ancient world!!

- Such a bad movie just two reasons are enough to hate it!

8/26/10

Supercool Supergirl shirt

Actually found this awesome shirt for sale at Wal-Mart, which is the cover to Action Comics 373.



The issue contains reprints of five Supergirl stories;


Action Comics (1938) #258
Action Comics (1938) #276
Action Comics (1938) #277
Action Comics (1938) #287
Action Comics (1938) #291


I've read the first three, in my treasured DC Archives: Supergirl collection (the much cheaper b&w Showcase Presents: Supergirl should also have them). Silver Age Supergirl was very well done and I've talked about it before, but I was really giddy that AC 258 made it into the reprint, and then onto this shirt; its the oldest comic I own, and the one I paid the most for at over $100.

Here it is:


And next to the shirt:


Wal-Mart has recently had a surprising number of classic comic shirts, including a mens thats features the cover of Detective Comics 33 (which drove me crazy trying to remember why it was important - it's Batman's origin!), but still there's no good Supergirl shirts for someone like me, who's not really built to wear ladies clothes. Husky straight men like Kara Zor-el too, DC! Hell you should know that, you had her re-debut in 2004 naked.

8/25/10

Sweet Veronica Mars Poster

Awesome poster for the late, great television series. I've only ever seen one full-size, and that was hanging from a friends wall in Las Vegas. Totally jealous. 

April O'Neil gives me the scoop on 'Dr. Who'

She makes a fine Dr. herself


I make no secret that a good 1/3 of my online time is spent trying to seduce April O'Neil. She's super pretty, has the Ninja Turtles name, and is one of the coolest (i.e. dorkiest) girls I know; not just porn girls, but of any girls. And I don't think thats pathetic, its just as constructive a use of my time as playing Farmville. You're trying to plant crops, I'm trying to plant my seed...its all the same except my day has more boobs. But there's something thats keeping us apart. It's not the 2,500 miles between us. It's not that I'm not skinny and English. And its not even that she'd prefer it if I had a vagina. No. It's that I don't know a thing about Dr. Who. Until that gets cleared up, I'm hopeless.

So April, just what the hell is Dr. Who?

Doctor Who is a British sci fi tv show that started in the 60's, lasted through to the 80's, then they brought it back in 2005. It follows an alien who travels around in his time machine serving up justice and saving all of time and space. It is the best television series ever. 

I know that the Dr. keeps changing...well, dies and gets a new body or something. Whats going on with that, doesn't it ruin the drama when the main character can keep coming back?

He "regenerates". Which basically means he can rearrange or reset his biology to heal himself before he dies. He CAN die if he doesn't regenerate in time or is being stopped. So, you know, there's still suspense about it. I cried my eyes out when David Tennant regenerated into Matt Smith. It's this interesting mortality/immortality thing he has and he always uses it to save people. See, he still has the same brain and memories but he IS a different person. They make fun of it in the sixth series opener: He tries all these foods and thinks they taste terrible because he has these new taste buds he's never had before, but his brain doesn't know what those taste buds like. Or you could think of it like a snake shedding it's skin or a crab getting a new shell. I think it's fun to see the actors tie in a lot of the traits of the previous actor while still making it their own.

Dr. Who has been around for decades, isn't it really hard to follow the show? Is it one big continuity like comics, or do they just ignore stuff from the past when they feel like it (like comics)?

It is hard to follow if you're hardcore about it. I got into it when they revived it and never really thought of the old stuff til recently. I've been spoiled by CG & 3D & just general technological improvements so I personally have an extremely hard time getting into old sci fi film/tv...I just can't get swept up in it like I do with the newer stuff. So, I've seen a few old ones because I wanted to see the very first and then the Time War. Anyway, the tv show has the most linear continuity as opposed to the books and other various things. I mostly just accept what fits in well to the revival's story and ignore the rest. It's a TV show so it's not like it's a super big deal. There's also just thinking there are parallel universes with parallel Doctors. Haha! 

Whats the coolest thing about Dr. Who, or the most memorable thing you've seen? Whats wowed you.

The whole thing. Even THAT's part of the "wow"...it's this huge, epic, almost fairy tale story that spans through time and space and dimensions and this guy is just trying to do good, and stand up for what's right and protect these people who he sees such potential in. But he has these demons and enemies...I mean how could you not at 906 years old? And all his mistakes just keep coming back around. You don't blame him for it, because he's trying to do the right thing and sometimes it has terrible consequences. Soo, THAT ALL happens every episode. :) It's just so full of awesome!

I've seen a lot of photoshops from girls of the series where they're naked. Do you have a crush on any of them and which should I look for more fake nudes of?

I think Karen Gillan, the current companion, is the hottest. I hated her at first cuz she's so hot and tall and on Doctor Who and it's not fair. But then I watched her more and really liked her. She's perfect for the character they were going for and she's extremely expressive with her eyes which is just fun to watch. I don't think there are any n00dz of her but there are some pretty easy to find risque ones. 




Just to say though, Rose and Martha were hot in their own right. The girl that played Rose went on to play the girl in Diary of a Call Girl and was hot as shit at it. Lots and lots of lingerie there! Funny thing, in the series she bangs a guy played by the current Doctor. Ha!

So, I take it this is a good thing to watch? I wonder if any other guys and girls started shamelessly doing something like this to have a reason to talk to you, and try and form a bond of friendship over a common interest that leads to romance or at least a blowjob...also, completely unrelated, go Phoenix Suns!

Yes! Watch it! Even if my fangirl rants that don't make any sense can't sway you, my enthusiasm should. You know I have pretty good taste, how could my favorite thing ever not be worth at least watching a couple of episodes? And if someone doesn't know me, they should Google it and try not to be sucked into awesomeness. Try!


Disclaimer: If you don't like sci fi at all, you might not like it...

One of these days, I'll have to explain my love/hate relationship with Dimetrodons

8/23/10

New designs for the girls of Pokemon

There's a new Pokemon anime forthcoming, and Jenny and Joy are getting makeovers. Jenny...I do not like it!



I will always prefer this model of femininity and grace!!

The next Goyf

This is Tarmogoyf.


This is Tarmogoyf's price history. 


Goyf was released in Future Sight, the third set of the Time Spiral block. Fairly quickly it rose in price, and by the time Lorywn came out - featuring tribal and planeswalkers - it was already an expensive card for standard. It was the first card in the standard era to reach $50, and even at $25 was considered to be a very expensive card (Pre-mythics $30 was insane to pay). Goyf was a good card and was used in every format, and since its creation players have been on the look out for the next one. This isn't an official list, but each of these cards have been called 'the next goyf' on various forums and webpages around the internet. 



The first next Goyf, since it grew without a player needing to add extra resources. Not a failure but never widely played, sits around $1-2 now at most card shops. The fact that it uses counters is also a drawback; if you play it turn 3, this is a 2/2. If you play it turn 10, its a 2/2. Mauler needs to be in play to get the bonus, but Goyf doesn't. As long as there are cards in the graveyard, it will come down with a p/t boost every time.  


Red's second next Goyf. Held back by the need to play multicolour, and again a reliance on counters. 


The only non-rare on the list, and the least likely to ever skyrocket in price. However, its also arguably the most successful. A potential 4/4 on turn 2 and for the rest of the game, with only life as a condition that needs to be met. Popular in hard-hitting Jund decks this leech has probably seen more standard play then the rest of this list combined, but its casting requirements mean its nowhere near as splashable or playable as Goyf on a wider scale. 


My least favourite, from the standpoint of comparison. While I really love everything about the card, its tournament use has been sparse (but successful) showing up in Extended Zoo decks and Standard Next Level Bant, but never as an auto four-of that goyf was. You don't splash green to run Scute Mob, and  its always hovered under a dollar because of it. While it gets more and more powerful late game, its useless early. Tarmogoyf was easily a 2/3 on turn two in many decks, and conceivably a 3/4 in older formats. 

I don't know what the next Goyf is going to be. But I do know that many people will pick a bust and load up on it, praying for the day they can sell them away.

8/21/10

M2M is my secret favourite band


Hot aussie girls and Pikachu. Whats not to love??

Mono R Kamahl

Kamahl was one of the first legends I was exposed too. He came in the Tenth Edition precon for red, and thats when I learned to play the game. Recently I wanted to forge a deck around him, but I didn't want to go traditional burn-to-the-face. I opted to use burn as creature removal, and put  a sub-theme of elemental tokens into play. Another sub-theme is high-power low-toughness, which I just think is cute to use. It's a lot of fun to play, and at its worst is just REALLY good at removing blockers!

x4 Kamahl, Pit Fighter
x2 Rakka Mar
x4 Spitebellows
==
x4 Elemental Appeal
x2 Flame Slash
x2 Rough//Tumble
x4 Pyroclasm
x4 Rift Bolt
x4 Seal of Fire
x4 Fire Diamond
==
x2 Shinka, the Bloodsoaked Keep
x20 Mountain

8/18/10

I cried reading Somewhere in Time


It's a damn fine love story, so no shame there. Have you ever read it? Or at least seen the movie? It's about a man who falls in love with a portrait of a woman from the 20's, so madly in love that he's willing to do whatever it takes to  be with her. A wonderful book from master storyteller Richard Matheson; best known for the equally as good in another way horror story I Am Legend. As scary as Legend could be, the terror it induced is nowhere near the heartbreak and longing this book does. I was not raised to brag about crying, which is exactly why I think its the highest praise someone like myself can give.

8/17/10

Cody Rhodes Greatest Moment

click to enjoy

From an excellent RAW before the triple threat match for Orton's title at Mania. Triple H made a match of the entire RAW roster vs. Cena/Orton, and apart from Val Venis' amazing facial freak-outs at each elimination, this was easily the highlight.

8/16/10

Bobby has good taste in comics


Invincible is terrific

Almost year 8 of my Kevin Smith boycott

Ah, Hollywood writers. If there's one thing they were good for after the turn of the century, it was dicking over comic fans. And no one was better at it then Kevin Smith. While he did come into the decade on what many called a high note (I don't - his Green Arrow was based around entirely avoiding the continuity of how the last series ended and his Daredevil was centered around writing DD as out of character as possible), by mid-2003 his star had lost its shine. Issue 3 of Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do was nowhere to be found (last issue coming out in October of 2002), and Daredevil: The Target #2 was also still missing (January 2003 #1 hit). And then...Jersey Girl. And Degrassi. Basically, anything that WASN'T comics. So, I decided to not pay for anything else Kevin Smith was doing until he finished his books. The Spider-Man book was finished in 2006, but Daredevil is essentially never getting done. It's not some grand cause and I'm not telling anyone else they should avoid his work, but personally I can't support someone who's not supporting the fans.

Clayra Beau on Star Wars

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R.I.P. Lance Cade

March 2, 1981 – August 13, 2010
















I missed most of the 'Garrison Cade' era of McNaught's WWE career, but was watching full-time when he re-debuted with Trevor Murdoch in the tag-team that would come to be nicknamed The Redneck Wrecking Crew. There was a lot of negative chatter online, but the well-built Cade and the dumpy Murdoch really captured the spirit of 80's tag-team wrestling, and it looked like the downfall of the division in the WWE would turn around. They won 3 tag-titles together, but the division never did recover to its 2001 era popularity. He was later made a part of the terrific Jericho-HBK feudthen released again then fired for a drug-related incidint on a plane right when he seemed to be at the peak of his career. He came back briefly in 2009 before being released again, and just three days ago died of heart failure at 29. Lance Cade was never my favourite superstar, but he was entertaining and made weekly visits into my home for years. Damn shame. 

8/15/10

Suddenly...Mickie James



Johnny Bravo meets the Gang

Johnny Bravo season 1 recently went to dvd, and I wanted it for the terrific episode featuring stories where he met Adam West and Donnie Osmond. A giant surprise is that it also had another favourite, where Johnny meets the gang of Mystery Inc. Its a very funny cross-over, with the more outlandish JB stuff mixing well with the Scooby characters. Shaggy especially seems on point:


"Hey Scoob, dig this guys crazy hairdoo."
"Hey Scoob, dig this crazy broomcloset"
"Hey Johnny, check out this crazy pantry"



There's also a few innuendo moments with Fred and Daphne that are pretty nice. 


The resolution is a vintage hoot as well, with the Ghostly Gardener wearing multiple masks, including the face classic SD villains like Harry the Hypnotist and guest star Don Knotts. 


The episode ends in another Hannah-Barbara cameo, and one anyone who knows me knows I'm a little obsessed with ^_^

8/14/10

Dear Jerks at work,

Please don't come to my register, thats not for normal check-outs anyway, and leave your basket. Ya see, the place where you picked them up, the place where they go, is right next to the exits. You know, the same damn place you literally HAVE to go to when you're leaving.

I'm doing you a fucking favour by checking you out when I don't have to, and you leave the basket at my counter that is used to display actual stuff? Seriously? You're so much of a selfish prick you need me to leave my station, walking next to you (which I've had to do several times) to put a basket away at the same place you're going?

Please stop being such lazy pieces of shit.

Sincerely,
the guy giving you bad service next time you're in, or flat out ignoring you.

8/8/10

George Perez from Fetishcon

Each year, comic legend George Perez hosts a superhero/villain show at Tampa's Fetishcon. I attended this year, but missed that even! Luckily, I find George walking around later and gushed like a girl with a schoolyard crush over him, and he was kind enough to do a quick Wonder Woman sketch for me thats simply gorgeous. I took a picture with him too, and holy shit he's me time travelling back from the future!

8/5/10

'American Tail' ending slays my cynicism



Probably just temporarily. But still awwwwwww, Fievel and his parents come together again yay!!

What the fuck Fievel!?

So I'm watching An American Tale for the first time since I was skirting turning into a teenager, and I'm getting nothing but pissed off. All the cute, rebellious antics Fievel did in the movie that were funny as a kid are making me angry as an adult. The kid has no respect for rules or his own life, charges off to do whatever he wants, and even acts flat out devious to get his way. During a thunderstorm at sea, he wants to see fish so he throws his hat out onto the deck so he can ignore his father and yell "I have to get my hat" as an excuse to go exploring. That wasn't the smartest idea kid.


I know by the end of the movie I'll be happy to see them reunite, because I do like happy ending and this movie, but 20 minutes in I'm glad I don't have an precocious kids of my own.

8/4/10

Micro-Digital Waker

From the very loosely connected 'sequel' to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Shock Treatment, comes todays song. The movie is...interesting. I've only seen it once, and was very much not sure what to expect. 

8/3/10

My 'Girlfriend Experience' Sucks

A Girlfriend Experience is when an escort offers more then sex, and usually does things more akin to, well, a girlfriend. Kissing, fondling, guilting, ect. But I recently had a bad one I wanted to share. I was going to take my friend, who is a girl, to work. Well I get to her house and whats going on? There's a bug in the closet then she wants me to kill it. "Alright" I say "But I get to see you naked for this right?" The answer was no. After that, we swing threw McDonalds for lunch and what happens? She didn't bring her money so I had to pay for it. I started to count on my fingers;

- driving her around
- hunting bugs
- buying her lunch
- no nudity

One of those things is not like the other. One of those things does not belong. I would have been waaay better off going to visit Mika Tan in the Bunny Ranch for a real GFE, dammit. I bet I coulda even touched one of her boobs!

8/2/10

G.I. Joe the Movie has the best opening EVER

It opens with a giant airship deploying dozens of Cobra Paratroopers onto the Statue of Liberty. Very cool way to start off, and the theme music? Fucking amazing.


Then, a cobra ship is shot down...but Duke with the hugest fucking gun in GI Joe history. He's also wearing a jetpack, which makes it cooler. 

Holy shit, a Cobra version of a Star Destroyer!!


The best sequence in the opening: Snake Eyes leaps up from nowhere, spins this ship sending the pilot falling to his death, slides in and flies it away. Literally, he just jumps from off-screen 'cause he's a ninja. 


I don't even remember what this Joe's name is, but he's got huge balls. He's on the Statue, grappling hooks onto a plane, smashes the cockpit, explodes it, then grappling hooks to another ship. Balls.


Until you've punched a terrorist leader off of the Statue of Liberty, you're not a man.


The Joe's sometimes used animals, and here they thought the mission would be best served with a condor and a big dog. This opening is epic. 


Adding insult to injury, the dog and condor are just a  distraction so he could get knocked out by a girl.


Shipwreck!


And finally, victory and an image that would be on posters around the country if this had actually happened. Yo Joe! 


And since I think the AMAZING song does a lot for it, here's the entire video for your viewing pleasure.